Clueless Parents and Confused Teens: Why Adolescence is a Wake-Up Call

The short four-episode web series Adolescence, which premiered on March 13, has already become a hot topic, with heated debates surrounding the widening gap between parents and their adolescent children in the digital era. Lauded for the frank depiction of the lacunae in parenting in a young teenager's adolescence, Adolescence illuminates the extent to which open access to the internet can affect a teenager's mental and emotional health. Although social media sites have implemented safety measures such as content filters and reporting mechanisms, these can only do so much, shifting the responsibility to parents and educators to lead teens toward proper online behavior.

When we interviewed experts, parents, and teens who had seen the series, their observations illuminated the warning signs parents should look out for—and what to do about them.

Bidushi Khaitan, 16, from Kolkata, was upset about how bullying and exclusion have been represented in the show. "Exclusion, making jokes about someone, or the manner of speech—these are all things that occur, but telling a teacher hardly ever makes anything change," she says. "There's no actual discussion on how to handle it." Arushi Sen, 17, of Delhi, said the same thing, but with an emphasis on the psychological impact bullying has, particularly on girls. "Girls bully in more indirect ways—by excluding people socially, making snide comments, or manipulating. And social media only makes things worse," she says.

The series also explores the way microaggressions from one's own family can define the perception that a teenager has of himself and others. Avik Saha, 19, of Mumbai, refers to an instance in Adolescence where the main character, Jamie, internalizes his dad's microaggressions, and thinks that strength lies in dominance. "That's how it begins. If you own up to being bullied, you're regarded as weak, and that pushes you further down the power chain," he says.

But it's not only the home life that influences teens—peer groups have an even greater influence. As independent psychologist Debarati Banerjee in Kolkata says, "No matter how much parents try to break into the series, something always feels incomplete.". The actual problem is that we have limited control over what our children get exposed to—whether at school, among peers, or through the internet." Arpitha Mirchandani, a senior psychologist who works in the field of adolescence, weighs in that the issue isn't specific to urban India. "Bullying and online intimidation are occurring across the board, even in villages, due to easy access to unfiltered material on the net," she informs.

Parents themselves also begin to recognize that the life of their child is influenced by digital forces largely beyond their reach. Shruti Bhattacharjee, a parent from Kolkata, acknowledges the virtual world youth inhabit is a world unfamiliar to most adults. "We do not always grasp the digital platforms they inhabit but can observe warning signs—cyberbullying, toxic masculinity, and the like—in school," she remarks. “We need to listen to teachers and be more open about addressing these issues.”

The series also brings to light several harmful online subcultures that are growing in influence. For example, Adolescence introduces viewers to incel culture, a group of men who describe themselves as “involuntary celibates” and often blame women for their inability to form romantic relationships. This subculture is largely driven by internet forums where members express their anger and espouse misogynist attitudes. Radicalization online is also a problem, since vulnerable teenagers such as Jamie can get sucked into extremist groups. "These web subcultures can lead teens down perilous paths, from sexual inadequacy to racial and religious bigotry," says Mirchandani.

The manosphere—a catch-all for internet communities that disseminate anti-feminist and misogynistic ideology—is yet another poisonous influence that Adolescence points out. These communities have the potential to fundamentally warp a young man's view of gender roles and relationships. Echo chambers, where teenagers only communicate with similar-minded peers who affirm perilous ideas, isolate them even further from larger, more well-rounded viewpoints. The show also explores toxic masculinity, how boys such as Jamie tend to be expected to suppress their feelings and embrace hypermasculine qualities, especially if they have figures such as Jamie's dad who believe that strength equals dominance.

With the digital universe increasingly being a powerful force shaping the lives of teenagers, it is evident that shutting down internet access altogether isn't the answer. In truth, specialists advise that this approach could have opposite effects, producing secrecy and rebelliousness. "Parents need to educate teens on how to use the internet responsibly," adds Archana Sagar, independent child and adolescent psychologist from Bangalore. She recalls that "confining screen time is valuable, but also essential to familiarize teens on how to sieve content, spot misinformation, and make wise judgments online."

There are a number of measures parents can take to enable teens to flourish in the age of technology. They include promoting self-reflection through practices such as journaling, ensuring teens reflect before they post or comment online, and giving them space to think about things and come up with their own responses. "It's also crucial to be aware of what your child is exposed to from an early age—whether it's the shows or cartoons they watch," adds Sagar. She further emphasizes the need to provide children with life skills, as opposed to mere knowledge, and to remain sensitive to the evolving digital landscape.

Ultimately, Adolescence is a wake-up call for parents and teachers alike. As the series dramatically shows, teens' problems today are not limited to the offline space; they are strongly linked with their experiences in the online world. "Parents realize it only when many kids become addicted to social media and gaming. They turn inward and suffer from anxiety, depression, or even avoid going to school. Unfortunately, many parents miss these warning signs," warns Sagar. The main point is simple: Parents need to become active participants in learning about the online world children live in and give them the guidance and support they need to safely navigate it.